you keep me up in bed

Im drifting off into the imaginary world where you are with me and we are holding hands and these tears arent falling. the sky is shining bright with the stars letting us find our ways home and the perfect song is playing. everything so perfect with everyone around but it only ever feeling like you and I are the only things on this planet.
I think of you more than i ever should i dont get why i was never able to let go. you were the closest one to me and you gave me everything with nothing at all your presence was what i desired most and your lips that i was never able to touch just continue to keep me wanting.
when will i know that i can jump and i get over the bridge holding someone else, someone else holding me? why have you left this scar?

this is to a boy who got into my head with all the pretty things he did.
this is to a boy who got into my head with all these fucked up things i did.
you are my Konstantine.

i dont want to be alone to be put off knowing nothing wouldve happened.
I fucked up and i want you
ill never get that chance again
im stuck in this portal where i can never run back
what i feel will make me whole
and complete my life so then i can die happy
and i can be who i want
but its no use writing this down
and picturing something thats not there
its hopeless and not needed
its dumb and foolish
and all i do it put more pressure on my mind
what if
what if
what if
what if is not going to happen for you hunny
you choose to lock yourself up
and only breathe the fresh air occasionally
you will go no where if you become the closet
but my feet already feel secure in this place.