its been too long and i need to get back into the swing

my mind has been running all over ever since i stopped writing here. i just needed somewhere to write but i didnt have time so my brain was on the verge of exploding. lately ive sold my car, yet to get a new one. cut back on shows for lack of money, ready to cry over that one. ive gotten over my lust and a love and ive found something new. yes, the ideals are a little off but im willing to change my point of view. ive been on dirty buses watching everyone in their world knowing everyone elses and for some reason i hate it but missed it. ive been working out lately to get myself fit for a new life, ive been watching home videos where i honestly believe thats not me. i was someone so different before and im constantly going through metamorphosis. sometimes i wish i couldve moved to Arizona just to be somewhere else and ive also never been to the other side of the country. i never leave this tristate area and its aggravating. if only my band could be a success and i could get out and head on the road. my eyes keep turning green more than usual and i think i love it, it makes me different for a few seconds and it brings out a different point of view. I think im going to go for a walk today i dont know where ill end up but i think thats because i dont want to stop.