late night make or break

I walked up to your door
about to grip on to the knob i saw the future passing by
everything that could happen and everything id be giving up on
i was just about to turn the knob and step on in
but it hit me.
what i do.
is it worth it?
will you notice all ive done
because you havent noticed the signs so far.
and it may be because you dont know what you want
so let me make it clear
im tired of the he said she said
and i want to hear it from your voice box, your lips
and if you see me beginning to crash,
i want you to come to the rescue
lets not change anything after today.
for once in a really long time
i know what i want
and i want you to want the same
i want to be able to walk through that door unafraid of the consequences or the monsters that come to scare me off
i just need to see your hand held out for me to grab so i know we can do this together
either that or i need to move on
but ive moved so many times
ive given up on everything
and this is my turn to be real with myself!
this is my chance
and im not willing to pass on this opportunity
i dont want to have walked all this way to turn around and not let you know i was near
I NEED YOU TO HEAR ME
THIS IS FROM MY VOICE BOX
MY CHORDS SHAKING
MY HEART BEAT SKIPPING
MY HANDS TREMBLING
This is me in reality
and i want to be accepted
i want your approval with your lips
to give me comfort and ill know everything will be fine.
so i walked up to your door step, i grabbed the knob but about to turn it
i let go.
today is not my day to make my move, ive been taught this for too long.
ill turn around and walk on home...maybe tomorrow.