I'm sorry that we held hands.

ive jumped more than one mountain
in my mind
ive leaped the widest river
just to pass some time
ive never really
meant what i said
and this my apology
to those that you read.

la la la la
what do you say?
la la la la
are we okay now
cuz i dont want to be stuck
with the thought of no luck
and no you you you by my side
no you you you by my side

ive dreamt of anything possible
rainbows and unicorns in space
ive lived a less life than i could
but i know i did something good
along the way

dont you agree
youve been with me
were like peanut butter and jelly

la la la la
what do you say
lalalala
are we okay now
cuz i dont want to be stuck
with the thought of no luck
and no you you you by my side

times get hard
ive seen it before
but we carry on
we tend to ignore those bad signs

la la la
what do you say?
lala lala
are we okay now?
cuz i dont want to be stuck
with the thought of no luck
and no you you you by my side!!
x2
no you you you by my side
cuz i need you
by my side

know how i said i need an asian lady to walk on my back?
i meant it!
this ache will not leave its such a nuisance.

and now im cleaning what i call my room its such a trash right now
i feel like changing everything but itll take too long


another day of staying up until 830!? i dont think so i have work tomorrow. :[

here we go new year

started at 458

i cant sleep my eyes are wide open my hands smell like dishwashing liquid
im freezing but my feet are warm the temperature says 73 but we all know its not true
i cant help but be loud because this keyboard tends to be obnoxious so im sorry mom and dad when u wake up and im still clacking away
atleast my voice is shut.
for once all these action figures are starting to creep me out
im waiting for a head to turn in my direction but lets hope that doesnt happen
i kinda feel like taking a hot bath right now and its not a lie ill atleast be warm until i get out but then ill be more awake then i am now and im sure later ill have a major crash.
i need to be up early today. hello 2pm
i dont even sleep in my room anymore the couch is really comfy and i used to sleep there all the time. plus theres tv. some noise to keep me going.
theres no music on anymore i just realized that and now im oddly rocking back and forth.
i need to go to a chiropractor or maybe just get an asian lady to step on my back. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

521
i think ill just go to the couch and see what happens but if my mom is waking up soon i shouldnt cuz itll be a waste.
i need to get warm.
lets see if i sleep


goodnightworldseeyouinacoupleofhours

Hate Everyone....Say Anything

things will just never change.
you will never grow up and ill never feel as superior as i wish i could be.
the most is that im still above you.
you are wrong at everything you do or say.
guess one lion had to win and in the end it was me.

im still a mere marionette
being played left and right up and down on these strings to what you so call "happy music"
sweetie that smile is clearly a hoax and you've become the cellophane to wrap my dinner.
even metal will bend and break with your entrance.

Just take it. make it count and let no one smell your fear. so it was something that would never be. the point is to grow and move on. I'm pretty sure im over you at least after tonight i know that this action will have no effect. I can just laugh when i see photos posted galore and now i know i am superior because i only needed to pass your stupidity to realize i rule the jungle on my own.


MUSIC: Dave Mellilo- Knights of the Island Counter

yea its like anarbor month. pretty wicked.

"without you theres no reason for my story."


haha so ive been dreaming a lil too much lately but its pretty funny- the things i can think of. highfive to childhood:D

"thinking of you...and i knew i couldnt take anymore."

its been too long and i need to get back into the swing

my mind has been running all over ever since i stopped writing here. i just needed somewhere to write but i didnt have time so my brain was on the verge of exploding. lately ive sold my car, yet to get a new one. cut back on shows for lack of money, ready to cry over that one. ive gotten over my lust and a love and ive found something new. yes, the ideals are a little off but im willing to change my point of view. ive been on dirty buses watching everyone in their world knowing everyone elses and for some reason i hate it but missed it. ive been working out lately to get myself fit for a new life, ive been watching home videos where i honestly believe thats not me. i was someone so different before and im constantly going through metamorphosis. sometimes i wish i couldve moved to Arizona just to be somewhere else and ive also never been to the other side of the country. i never leave this tristate area and its aggravating. if only my band could be a success and i could get out and head on the road. my eyes keep turning green more than usual and i think i love it, it makes me different for a few seconds and it brings out a different point of view. I think im going to go for a walk today i dont know where ill end up but i think thats because i dont want to stop.

Taking some time

1)I want to just run into his arms and tell him i love him
if only i could tell him that just being around him makes me happy
i can just sit here with him and watch the world fall apart in tears and tragedy but ill be smiling. If his eyes were to open a touch more i think he'd say the same to me. but i guess by then i should have my options opened.

2)i want to tell him, this time i wont write a letter. let him know that my life has changed completely because of him and everything around me reminds me of him in some odd way. that i kinda wonder what it would've been like to talk and laugh and enjoy his company. it's taking some time to move on...

3)I want him to notice me and i have a feeling that he does even more than i expected but maybe its because i get too nervous and i tend to look in another direction i dont realize. ha and reading that sentence fast is exactly how i feel when I'm near him. i never want him to realize that once in awhile ill stick my head in his direction hoping hell smile back. and which so much in common a girl can only imagine but know it will get her no where. too pulled apart even though eventually we'll snap back into form.


this was my quick moment to vent when the only noise i hear right now is the computer fan and the only light is the from the screen. sometimes i wish my best friend was here sometimes i just tell myself to go to bed.